Nobody Like You

I know this sounds a little like something you would hear from Mr. Rogers, but he was right in his song “You Are Special” …“You are the only one like you.” I have found this to be especially true with other men diagnosed with prostate cancer (PCa). Even though this is the most common form of cancer found in men, no two patients’ stories are alike. Similar, yes . . . but just alike, no. There is a common bond that connects us; there is a common destination; but the choices we make regarding our treatment path are deeply seated in the heart and soul of the individual.

On my path with prostate cancer I have been reading copious accounts and have listened to many personal testimonies of men who are at various places in their journey with PCa. In doing so I had hoped to gain some direction for my own course of action. While I have found a wealth of information and encouragement from these accounts I have yet to come across a story that jumps off the page and says, “This is you, John; this is the answer you have been looking for!” I have found that I am unique in my situation with this cancer. Unique, but not alone.

One of my favorite discoveries through my research on the Internet was finding http://www.yananow.net/. This is a site dedicated to the support of men with prostate cancer. The acronym stands for “You Are Not Alone Now.” This has been an incredible resource for gathering information and help along the way. Within the pages of this site men tell their stories in a journal type format. I have even started email correspondence with a couple of “mentors” who have stories similar to mine. In fact one gentleman I contacted in the U.K. made the comment that we were “pushing the buttons of coincidence” with our stories. The first thing that caught my attention was that we were both diagnosed on the exact same day. We have signed on to each other’s blogs to keep up to date with each other’s progress. But even with our similarities we easily found our differences. With each individual there are medical conditions and factors that play into each scenario: relationship dynamics, personal preferences relating to “quality of life” issues, doctors’ opinions, age, PSA levels, Gleason scores, and on an on. In my journey I am finding that each man has made or is making a decision for treatment (or non-treatment) based upon his individual condition. This whole process pushes one to see where his core values lie.

Certain values rise to the surface in times like this. In my case the loving relationship I have with my wife is a prized possession. Many accounts I have read make reference to men who experience a deepening in their relationships with their spouses. Unfortunately this can go the opposite way as well. Your mettle is definitely tested when you are faced with any life threatening circumstance. There is an ongoing battle beyond the walls of the prostate gland that challenges our innermost being. It surfaces in the wake of the “w” questions we looked at earlier and how we resolve them. What can be done on your soul’s journey to guard you, especially when confronted with the harsh reality of a cancer invading your space? The answer is found through another type of loving relationship. This is what the Jesus of the Bible offers in the Gospel of Matthew: “Come to Me all who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me for I am gentle and humble in heart and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light” (Matt. 11: 28-30). Notice the “rest” part is predicated by “come to me.” YANA got it right, you are not alone. We not only have each other, we have the Son of God at our beckoning. Or should I say He is already there with open arms calling us to “come … and I will give you rest.”

The need for rest is interesting in light of facing PCa. Finding a treatment path is a wearisome process to say the least. But inner rest is intimately associated with the act of trust. There are the elements of trusting our research, hopefully trusting our doctors, and trusting our instincts. There is also the need to add discernment to this equation. There are many voices capable of influencing our decision. The question is, “Which ones do we entertain?” This is where trusting Someone bigger than our dilemma brings about true rest. The promise above in the verse from Matthew’s Gospel does not say “come … you might find rest, it says you will find rest.”

But remember, there is no true rest until you come to Jesus