How many times have you had a “Gideon moment?” Well, I had one last week. As you have gathered from my previous posts my prostate cancer (PCa) is tied into my faith. PCa is tied into a lot of things, but I want to focus on this “faith” thing for a bit. If you remember from your Sunday School days, this Gideon fellow wasn’t quite sure if God was on his side. When the Angel of the Lord appeared to him he responded, “O my Lord, if the Lord is with us, why then has all this happened to us? And where are all His miracles which our fathers told us about? …(Judges 6: 13a). From there he went into this “if/then” routine with God in order to process his own faith. As you read on in the account you not only watch Gideon’s faith in action but you also see the patience of God. It is not so much “to fleece or not to fleece,” but more like “what makes faith take action?”
The way this speaks to my situation relates to how am I “fleshing out” my faith with PCa. I think, if we are honest with ourselves, we often pose Gideon’s question before God: “why then has all this happened to us?” With PCa it is one of the first questions you ask yourself and God. When you are first confronted with this diagnoses the answer is not right before you in a gift-wrapped box. It is unveiled before you through the process. It is an “answering” of the question through the ongoing experience. Since I am at the beginning of this path, I only have part of the answer: to trust God more fully and allow my faith to grow “knowing that the testing of (my) your faith produces endurance.” For now I have faced the fact of my PCa and I am on the road to doing something about it.
Before the “action” took place in the form of a decision to proceed with proton beam therapy (PBT) there was a lot of groundwork laid in research and in prayer. Here is a sampling of the types of prayer requests. “Please lead me to competent doctors who can give me good direction.” Or, “Please put people in my path to help shed some light on some of this confusion.” Those prayers were answered from the first day forward. The urologist in the clinic where my primary doctor practices did not have any openings at the time. I was referred to another urologist who is highly regarded in our community and with whom we are very comfortable. One of the first non-medical persons I discussed my PCa with is a pastor friend of mine who began his PCa journey over a year ago. He had a very enriching experience at the University of Florida Proton Institute with good results to this point. That phone call laid the foundation for my consideration of PBT as a viable option.
Just recently one of those “Gideon Moments” happened. Our family and friends have been praying with us for clear direction in our decision from the beginning. The day after one of those prayer times with our family (Thursday, August 20th), I got a call from Loma Linda University Medical Center (LLUMC) to see if I was available to move up my tentative appointment from the last part of October to the middle of September. I asked for a day to think it over which they allowed me to do. When I got that first phone call, I immediately asked God and myself who was responsible for that call … was this coincidence or providence? “Would this be a good time for a fleece?” I said to myself. When I think back, a few days prior I kind of sent one of those prayers out there in the form of “some type of sign would be nice.” “Was this call from LLUMC an answer?” When I called back to LLUMC to confirm the appointment a little problem appeared: that slot to had inadvertently been given to another patient. It must have been coincidence instead of providence. (A side note to this is I had set up the original October/November dates back on July 13th for a consultation knowing the lead times were quite a ways out at LLUMC. At the time I had this inner prompting to get things going at Loma Linda even though we were still very much undecided in our course of action.)
With that Thursday phone call I admit that I was more than a little unnerved by realizing “this could be it.” All of the sudden I had to make a decision. The timing seemed a little “too” quick with the pending arrival of our daughter’s forth child (our 8th grandchild). But we found ourselves emotionally ready to make the move after processing that initial phone call. I did not have to wait too long before LLUMC called back the following Monday with a new date of September 22nd for a consultation with treatment beginning a week later. There is both medical and personal significance to these dates. From a medical perspective, when we first presented the November scenario to my urologist on July 20th he was uncomfortable with waiting that long to begin treatment. He reminded us it would be nearly five months from my original diagnosis until treatment if we were to go with PBT at LLUMC. If we were to wait for the November treatment date he recommended starting hormone treatment to keep the cancer from growing any further. He assured us he would support us in our decision.
On the personal side, the September 22nd date gave us a little more cushion with the pending arrival of our new granddaughter; and it also put us down in SoCal for my nephew’s wedding the weekend before starting treatment. And to top it off we were able to find housing for the dates we will be down there within walking distance to the medical center. The coincidence angle was loosing its foothold here on this one. I also do not think it was coincidence that someone else has that other appointment slot. I hope I run into him during our treatments.
The way this speaks to my situation relates to how am I “fleshing out” my faith with PCa. I think, if we are honest with ourselves, we often pose Gideon’s question before God: “why then has all this happened to us?” With PCa it is one of the first questions you ask yourself and God. When you are first confronted with this diagnoses the answer is not right before you in a gift-wrapped box. It is unveiled before you through the process. It is an “answering” of the question through the ongoing experience. Since I am at the beginning of this path, I only have part of the answer: to trust God more fully and allow my faith to grow “knowing that the testing of (my) your faith produces endurance.” For now I have faced the fact of my PCa and I am on the road to doing something about it.
Before the “action” took place in the form of a decision to proceed with proton beam therapy (PBT) there was a lot of groundwork laid in research and in prayer. Here is a sampling of the types of prayer requests. “Please lead me to competent doctors who can give me good direction.” Or, “Please put people in my path to help shed some light on some of this confusion.” Those prayers were answered from the first day forward. The urologist in the clinic where my primary doctor practices did not have any openings at the time. I was referred to another urologist who is highly regarded in our community and with whom we are very comfortable. One of the first non-medical persons I discussed my PCa with is a pastor friend of mine who began his PCa journey over a year ago. He had a very enriching experience at the University of Florida Proton Institute with good results to this point. That phone call laid the foundation for my consideration of PBT as a viable option.
Just recently one of those “Gideon Moments” happened. Our family and friends have been praying with us for clear direction in our decision from the beginning. The day after one of those prayer times with our family (Thursday, August 20th), I got a call from Loma Linda University Medical Center (LLUMC) to see if I was available to move up my tentative appointment from the last part of October to the middle of September. I asked for a day to think it over which they allowed me to do. When I got that first phone call, I immediately asked God and myself who was responsible for that call … was this coincidence or providence? “Would this be a good time for a fleece?” I said to myself. When I think back, a few days prior I kind of sent one of those prayers out there in the form of “some type of sign would be nice.” “Was this call from LLUMC an answer?” When I called back to LLUMC to confirm the appointment a little problem appeared: that slot to had inadvertently been given to another patient. It must have been coincidence instead of providence. (A side note to this is I had set up the original October/November dates back on July 13th for a consultation knowing the lead times were quite a ways out at LLUMC. At the time I had this inner prompting to get things going at Loma Linda even though we were still very much undecided in our course of action.)
With that Thursday phone call I admit that I was more than a little unnerved by realizing “this could be it.” All of the sudden I had to make a decision. The timing seemed a little “too” quick with the pending arrival of our daughter’s forth child (our 8th grandchild). But we found ourselves emotionally ready to make the move after processing that initial phone call. I did not have to wait too long before LLUMC called back the following Monday with a new date of September 22nd for a consultation with treatment beginning a week later. There is both medical and personal significance to these dates. From a medical perspective, when we first presented the November scenario to my urologist on July 20th he was uncomfortable with waiting that long to begin treatment. He reminded us it would be nearly five months from my original diagnosis until treatment if we were to go with PBT at LLUMC. If we were to wait for the November treatment date he recommended starting hormone treatment to keep the cancer from growing any further. He assured us he would support us in our decision.
On the personal side, the September 22nd date gave us a little more cushion with the pending arrival of our new granddaughter; and it also put us down in SoCal for my nephew’s wedding the weekend before starting treatment. And to top it off we were able to find housing for the dates we will be down there within walking distance to the medical center. The coincidence angle was loosing its foothold here on this one. I also do not think it was coincidence that someone else has that other appointment slot. I hope I run into him during our treatments.
John, I'm so glad I stumbled onto your blog via Julianna's "Petunia June!" Now I know the answer to our prayers...PBT! Reading your post was so encouraging as it clearly showed the Lord's hand in the whole process. And His graciousness in the timing, too! What a full calendar you have the next few weeks...from Clara's arrival to a wedding celebration! Know that Randy and I will continue to bring you before the throne of grace as you anticipate and begin treatment. See you at WT tonight! :o)
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